Because he was frightened.
Because frightened Adrian did what frightened Julia did.
He became useful.
He handled things.
He disappeared behind responsibility.
Daniel had seen it eight years earlier.
“So London isn’t about the company,” I said.
“Not entirely.”
“Your father wants to go?”
“He wants me to take over several European operations personally.”
“Do you?”
“I don’t know.”
There was that sentence again.
I sat quietly.
Then I said, “You’re allowed not to know.”
He exhaled.
“I’m discovering that.”
“Come over.”
“Julia—”
“Not for a serious relationship conversation. Not to make decisions. Mia is asleep. I have leftover pasta. Come sit on my sofa and be a person who doesn’t know what to do.”
He arrived forty minutes later.
No driver.
No suit.
No executive armor.
We ate reheated pasta at my kitchen counter.
He told me about his father.
About a childhood defined by expectations.
About his mother, who had softened the spaces between them.
About how, after she died, Adrian and William Kane had become two men exchanging responsibilities instead of feelings.
“He thinks London is the obvious choice,” Adrian said.
“For the business?”
“For me.”
“And what do you think?”
He stared at his plate.
“I think I spent eighteen years trying to become someone he would never worry about.”
“That sounds exhausting.”
“It was efficient.”
I smiled.
“So is a refrigerator. That doesn’t make it a life philosophy.”
He laughed.
Then his gaze moved to the bookshelf.
Daniel’s photograph was there.
Adrian stood and walked toward it.
“I’ve been thinking about his letter.”
“So have I.”
“He thought we were alike.”
“He wasn’t wrong.”
“I hate that.”
“So do I.”
He turned.
“Julia, if I go to London—”
“Don’t finish that sentence tonight.”
“Why?”
“Because you haven’t decided anything. And I don’t want us to break something real because we’re afraid of a future that hasn’t happened.”
He stared at me.
“You make that sound easy.”
“It isn’t.”
I walked toward him.
“I spent three years arranging my life so nothing unexpected could hurt me. It turns out nothing unexpected could reach me either.”
