Marcus stood near the wall with his hands in his pockets.
“He slept on it after Dana died,” he said.
Nacho lay down.
Lily picked up the cloth mouse and squeezed it.
It made a weak rattling sound.
Nacho’s head lifted.
For the first time since I brought him home, he tried to play.
He batted the toy once.
Then again.
Lily laughed through her tears.
The sound broke something open in me.
Not kindness.
Not yet.
Fear.
I was afraid that every happy memory he had with them erased one he had with me.
I was afraid love had limited space.
I was afraid if I admitted he belonged to them, I would lose the right to say he had ever belonged to me.
Marcus seemed to read my face.
“We are not trying to erase you,” he said.
“You came here to take him.”
“We came because my daughter has cried herself to sleep for six months.”
“And I cried for four years.”
“I know.”
“Stop saying that.”
Lily flinched.
Nacho stopped playing.
I lowered my voice.
“I’m sorry.”
Marcus looked at me for a long moment.
“Do you want the truth?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“I came the first day hoping he would run straight to Lily and make the decision for us.”
I looked at him.
“I wanted you to see it and step aside,” he said. “That was selfish.”
I said nothing.
“But he ran to you too,” Marcus continued. “He knows your house. He knows your signals. He slept under your chin. I cannot pretend that does not matter.”
His honesty made me angrier than a lie would have.
“What are you asking for?”
“I don’t know anymore.”
“That’s convenient.”
“No. Convenient would be believing only one of us loves him.”
The room went quiet.
Lily stroked Nacho’s back.
“I think he thinks we’re all his,” she said.
Children sometimes say the thing adults are working hardest not to see.
I sat in the chair across from her.
“What do you think should happen?” I asked.
Marcus looked at me sharply.
“Claire, she is ten.”
“I’m asking her because she loves him.”
Lily looked down at Nacho.
“I want him home,” she whispered.
My throat closed.
Then she added, “But I don’t want you to lose him again.”
I looked away.
Nobody spoke for a while.
Nacho rolled onto his side and stretched one paw toward me.
His back remained pressed against Lily’s leg.
He touched both of us at the same time.
It would have been easy to turn that into a sign.
